MONSTER ISLAND

RUK News, straight from Ruk Domlak

1) Recently a lot of activity have taken place back on Ruk. To avenge Nugg da 'Ard after news of what happened to him, the F.E.C. (Fatblob Extermination Council) firebombed the F.B.I. facilities and kidnapped all the Fatblob babies from a Fatblob nursery. Later on they catapulted these babies into the Fatblob part of town with a rock-lobber. The babies proved to be excellent missiles, killing several other Fatblobs. A couple babies survived as they were so fortunate to land on their heads, and so no vital parts were damaged.

2)
Last month several captured members of the F.E.C. were rescued out of a M.P. prison by a joined F.E.C./N.F.L. (Nightmare Fright Legion) action, before the F.E.C. members could stay trial before the K.J.C. (Kangaroo Junto Court), the official court in Illudak. The rescue was a combined tunnel rescue/direct attack where several M.P.'s were killed, the surviving guards are still in therapy because of nightmares after meeting N.F.L.'s leader, Freddy K., they claim that he visits them when they sleep. One of the leaders of the F.B.I. spoke that it is time for some laws to protect Fatblobs from psychopaths like F.E.C. and N.F.L., from the crowd gathered sporadic calls like "Illudak for Fatblobs", "F*ck Rambo", and "Ten hot dogs for me, please" were heard.

3)
A warlike fraction of the F.B.I. has formed their own organization, the R.A.F. (Raving Appetite Front), and they have promised to do something about the increasing assaults on Fatblobs. One of the actions will be to send some high skilled mercenaries to MI to "eliminate the leaders who have fled their and is now controlling these terrorists from this island" as the leader of R.A.F. put it. These leaders include Vlad Zin Shadowson and the rest of the Shadowson family. Later that day the leader of R.A.F. found a note saying "Oh no, we are doomed", from the F.E.C., fastened to his teddy bear with a knife through the right eye. His comment to this was "They have crossed the line, nobody touched Teddy Weddy, that's my teddy bear, and gets away with it, those barbaric animals" a tear or two were seen in the corner of his eyes.

4)
Recently some stickers saying N.B.A. (No Blobbers Allowed) have been placed at the entrance of several restaurants, pubs and nightclubs, the owners claim that they have nothing to do with the signs, but that more non-Fatblob guests have been coming there thinking it was a Fatblob free place. F.B.I.'s leader says that it is a new campaign from F.E.C. to harass Fatblobs, and R.A.F. promises to take action sometime in the future. A N.B.A. sign were also found at a gym, but this is thought to be a mistake, or a joke, as no Fatblobs comes there anyway. A group of women with the unusual name U.K. (Uncanny Kinswomen) have been sending out flyers with messages like "Beware you pathetic males, Darc Angel shall return", "The angel of Darc speaks the truth" and "Only through inflicting pain can you obtain true pleasure", they are believed to worship Darc Angel Shadowson as some kind of goddess. It is suspected that they are behind the killing of several males which were tortured to death and had the initials D.A. carved into their foreheads.

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